Nifemi and Money—2024
I’ve had a complex relationship with money throughout my life. Growing up, my reactions to money have profoundly shaped how I handle it now. I was always trying to outsmart others when it came to money.
One of my earliest memories of financial misbehaviour was sneaking into my mom’s wardrobe to take new notes she had kept, spending them on who-knows-what. When she found out, I lied terribly. This habit followed me to school. During a period when my parents were fighting, I would call them separately to get money from each of them without the other knowing.
Another incident was when I told my mom I needed money for extra government lessons. I didn’t give the money to the teacher for months until the teacher called my mom. Everyone realized I had been pocketing the money. It’s fair to say my early money mindset was built on stealing and deceiving others.
This behaviour continued into university. I would borrow money and never return it. My mom would test me by giving me a large sum of money, and I would spend it all without accountability. I had no sense of financial management. Honestly, when I think about it, I can’t even pinpoint how it all started. I just know I was bad with money. One of my worst experiences was having to borrow money from Renmoney due to a foolish financial decision I’d made months before. It was the only way out.
I was horrible with money — unaccountable, untrustworthy, and always broke. My siblings and parents hesitated to lend me money because they knew I’d rarely return it. It was a recurring problem; each year, I resolved to change, but I didn’t know how. Each year ended with me being broke and in debt, causing great worry.
Finally, about two years ago, I began to improve. The drastic change came when I started fulfilling all my promises. If I borrowed, I paid back. If I made a promise, I kept it. This brought immense satisfaction — the feeling of earning back people’s trust was blissful.
However, at every point, I battled thoughts of not repaying or shortchanging people. But I fought and continued fighting because I was determined to win. Finding my money mindset at age 30 is daunting. In 2024, my approach to money is driven by fear — fear of reverting to my old self and fear of being in the same place I once was. This fear motivates me but also brings painful moments.
Every day, I battle greed and remind myself that I have the capacity to be better. Every day, I fight the fear that spending money will drag me back to where I used to be. It feels like running away from something, and sometimes, I feel far off, while other times, it feels like it’s catching up to me. I’m learning how to earn and manage money, and I’m trusting God to help me overcome this fear.
2024 has been a good year money-wise, but it’s also the year that my fear has quadrupled. The stakes are higher now that I’m a family man, which means I need to get my life together (haha). I’ve been focusing on meeting my initial needs and building a system to manage money.
When I see other people’s financial goals, I sometimes crumble because it feels like I’m at ground zero — lacking enough money and not knowing how to manage what I have. But when I look back, I see that I’m not where or who I used to be. In 2024, I am better. I’m learning how to make money, keep it, and be accountable. I fight and win against the thoughts that try to pull me back to my old ways. Yes, I’ve made errors, but I correct them and avoid repeating them.
I’m paying off all my debts and closing out the year debt-free (Can the church say Amen?). I can afford things for myself without always asking for help, building businesses, and becoming financially responsible. I have big financial goals for 2024 (Big boys club, lol): clear all debts, pay rent without borrowing, manage the household finances month-to-month, save $1,000, and ₦1 million for investment by the end of the year. These are significant goals for me because I’ve never achieved them before, but I’m on track. Some have already been met, and others are on their way.
More importantly, over the next few years, I want to learn more about money — how to make it, and how to keep it. I also want to overcome my fear of money and my past. I want to build character regarding money, be trustworthy and accountable, and more importantly, be content. I want to know what’s mine to take and what’s not.
